Friday, June 12, 2009

Basketball Jones I gotta Basketball Jones

So last night I made it through watching 1/2 of the Lakers Vs Magic Game 4 with BT. He is currently sitting behind me helping me write my first sports critique since I don't know the players names!

The first 1/2 of the game was all in the hands of the Magic (who the hell came up with that name?). But before I even get into the game I should mention the kindergarten choreography used by the magic at the beginning of the game. Girls with red capes and a mascot were lowered by cables from the ceiling to the floor and that was about all of the intro show. And the mascot looks like Barney on steroids with wings what is so magical about that?

Okay back to the game. To be honest there isn't going to be much in this post about the game but really the many many weird and unsightly events that took place in the first half.

1. Arm Condoms. Dwight Howard, Jameer Nelson, Mickaeal Pietrus, and Tony Battie were all wearing what I like to "Arm Condoms" and only to protect one arm. BT said it was due to Allen Iverson who wears it due to Gang Tats which the League prohibits (or Bursitis which seems well kinda unlikely). Now I'm not to sure but I'm thinking they are trying to have a fashion contest with who has the best Arm Condom. Dwight Howard hands down wins! His was decorated with Silver lines looking like Lightening or Duct Tape.

2. Man Humping. What is up with the man humping? Guys are so worried about looking gay but they slap each other on the ass when they hit a good shot. Well now there is some obvious man humping going on. Lamar Odom and Jameer Nelson got tangled up to the point one was on top of the other. The next thing I see is some raunchy defense where the offense is deliberately bending over putting is butt against the crotch of the defense. What is going on here people??? I thought the defense was about "Stopping Penetration" not causing it right Phil?

3. That's what she said. Phil Jackson has more than one that's what she had moment but the best was when he was talking to the team repeatedly telling them "we need to work on stopping easy penetration". I immediately heard this and said "that's what she said".

4. When did the magic hire Ron Jeremy as there coach? Bold move if i do say so myself.

5. Dwight Howard is HOT. He may have an abnormally small head but his Amazing Body makes up all the difference for it. BT reminded me that he is 6'11" tall and I would look like a small child next to him so I guess that dream is over.

Overall I made it through 1/2 the game. BT came in at about 10 to tell me the Lakers won and I rolled over and went back to bed. Don't worry I won't be blogging for a while about sports it will be back to crafts and girlie stuff!

1 comment:

  1. I'm certainly not into sports, but your write-up was better to read that stats and all that crap about sports. LOL!

    I wanted to let you know that I blogged about the blanket that I won on June 11th!